A failed quiz changed me: Life lessons part 3

The Math Quiz  

From KG section to Standard X, I was in a Convent school. After that for my Higher Secondary education, I joined a Government school. That was a totally new world for me. Initially, I was not very fond of that school and its infrastructure. Later I started finding out many things which I liked there. But that is not going to be today's post. It's about an embarrassing failure I had in my life.

I was a top student in academics- trying always to be Class first, if possible school first. I was the nerd or the "buji" (short for "budhijeevi" or intelligent) in the class. If you ask anyone from my class, this is probably the only one remarkable thing they would say about me. It was like my identity. May be because my parents were teachers themselves, I would try my best in scoring high marks for all exams. Because if I didn't, I felt like I am letting my parents down. Because I hate comparisons with others. If I am the top student in class then there is no one else to compare me to. So whenever a new student joins our class, I was worried that they would perform better than me in academics. And when the results come and I am still the top scorer, I could literally feel relief washing over me. Anyway that was me- a person who tries to do best in academics. 

In this new school also by the second year of the Higher Secondary School, I was the School Topper. Every year there are Science and Mathematics competitions among all the schools in Kerala. I don't remember whether this particular incident happened in my first year or second year (most probably second year). So, when the competition came, my Math teacher asked me to join the Math quiz. I think I got selection from school (just a vague memory, not very sure).

Anyway I was the person from Higher Secondary section selected for Math quiz to compete in Sub-district level. I was not very confident. It was also the first time I was attending any quiz competition outside school. I noticed that one of the participants from the neighbouring Government school, was a girl from my previous school, who was a genius in Math. We just greeted each other. Soon the competition began.

Surprisingly, it was an easy competition. The questions were from our syllabus only. As I scored more points question after question, my heart beat was going into a crescendo brimming with anticipation. At the end of the quiz, I was declared winner. Honestly I was so proud of myself. But at the same time, a thought that 'I am the best' started forming in my mind. 

After this there was the District level competition after some days. My father brought me a Math quiz book for practice. Those questions were also somewhat doable for me. My confidence kept on increasing day by day. 

On the day of competition, I went to the test centre (another school in Trivandrum) with my father. I was happy, confident, with some anticipation. Even if I won't get any prizes there, I would be content with scoring some decent marks. But somewhere in my heart I still expected some prize.

Before our section, there was the competition for High School students. As I listened to those questions, they were easy questions for me, where I could find answers for majority of the problems. My confidence kept on building. I saw the girl from the nearby school also (she got second prize at Sub-district level), and greeted her again.

Without much delay, our competition also started. They had assigned as numbers and made us sit in designated seats. I think there were a total of 15 or 20 questions. After each question, the scores were updated on the board on the front, against our numbers. I didn't knew the answers to the first 2 questions. The third question was one which everyone answered, which I also answered correctly. That was the only question which I answered correctly. For each question which came after that, they were honestly not questions from our textbook, they were all advanced questions, which I had no idea about. But the amazing thing was that, many others could answer those questions correctly. 

With each passing question, heat began to rise in my cheeks, sweat rolled down my back and my throat became more and more dry. I felt some tears welling up in my eyes. I kept my head down in embarrassment. 

At the end of the quiz, before announcing the quiz results, I looked at the board. I was the miserable one with a pathetic single score. 

"It was a good competition, no-one has scored zero.. Congrats to winners " When the quiz master said this before announcing the winner, I could feel eyes searching for me, the lowest scorer.I somehow came out of that room, blanketed in shame. My entire body and mind fatigued from failure.

 I felt like a ruler, who lost all his kingdom, with nothing left. I couldn't even meet my father's eyes. I kept my head down. I didn't cry, but my heart was dripping in tears of shame. 

The Math genius from my neighbouring school got some prize- first or second, I don't remember. But she was a true genius, and she proved that again. 

The way back was silent. My father didn't blame me or anything. He was okay with that. I would also be okay with that, only if I could have scored some 5 marks or something. 

This was the first crushing defeat I faced in my life. My mother joined us in the train for the return journey, from her work place in Trivandrum. She was excitedly asking about the quiz, but I simply told her I did not get  any prize, I think she asked for score, and I gave her some vague answer. May be my depressed mood stopped her interrogation. 

It took some time, but  I could accept the failure. It made me a little bit more open to life. This incident was a revelation to me.

Image generated by Google AI

1. There could always be someone better than you. And it is not your fault.
2. Just because I didn't get good scores in that quiz does not mean that I am an idiot in Math. Because I had scored full marks for Math exam in my Higher Secondary Final exam. 
3. If you fall down, get up from there. A failure is never the end. Try again.
4. Winning all time can make you over confident, but some failures in between can motivate you more.

Be humble with your wins and learn from your failures.

 

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